1. i think i am having a girl. the heartbeat has been above 140 (until today), i'm gaining weight all over instead of just in my belly, look like i'm carrying it high, etc.
2. we're probably going to name her kansas sophia kehrli. i hope she goes by kansas, but i wouldn't mind if she prefers sophia, sophie or k.k. (or kan kan or any other nicknames that could transpire).
3. i fear that everyone will think her name is "candice" not "kansas." i wonder how many times she will have to say "no, kansas, like the state" and people will hopefully reply "oh that's really unique/cute/cool."
4. i hate when people ask if i have everything i need for the baby. i know it's an honest, sincere question, but how am i supposed to respond? ("no we really want the pink grayco carseat/stroller combo" or "no i have everything i want except a wipe warmer. james and i are saving up so we can make sure and get one") gah. we are content with everything we have, so i usually just tell people we have everything.
5. james and i work from 9-4ish every day, and i love how much time we have together. no traffic, no getting up super early, low stress life.
6. i need 8-9 hours of sleep to function and be nice.
7. more than anything else with the baby or labor, i am dreading sleep deprivation.
8. i don't really have any desire to be a stay at home mom. some women have always dreamed of the day they can become one, but not me. i really enjoy working and need regular adult interaction besides play dates.
9. i hate how people think that i do not want to stay at home for financial reasons. while it is nice to have extra income, that is not really part of my motivation. i almost feel like it would be more noble if i needed to work for our family, but i really just want to keep working.
10. i feel judged for not wanting to stay home. i'm curious if meeting my baby and staying home for 3 months on maternity leave will change my mind, but i don't think i will.
11. james loves kids much more than i do, and i love him because of this.
12. i love hanging out with intellectual people.
13. i am jealous of all of my friends' intellectual pursuits (jenna at stanford law, catherine at harvard, erin almost done with her phd, and many more).
14. i thought about going to an ivy league school, so i randomly applied to dartmouth and got wait listed. i wonder what my life would've been like if i would have gone there, but i am thankful for my social/religious/athletic/relational experience at jbu even if it wasn't super intellectually challenging.15. i love giving wine as a housewarming gift and giving gifts in general.
16. i adamantly believe that brides and grooms should cover the cost of outfitting their wedding party or let them wear their own dresses/suits (i know i am in the minority on this one). especially if a couple pays for your bridesmaid dress or tux, it is only nice to pay for theirs in your wedding.
17. i grew up going to our family's lakehouse every weekend and i am a little sad that i might not be able to provide this opportunity for my children.
18. i love that my husband works for camp war eagle and we have access to the facilities, so it's almost like our own lake house.
19. i love living in a place with a plethora of friends, which is probably why it is hard for me to leave arkansas and why i love lawrence, ks, so much.
20. a friend recently told me that james and i were her and her boyfriend's favorite couple to hang out with, and i took this is as a huge compliment. then i realized that we've only hung out with them twice and it probably means that they just don't like or have other friends.
21. i am an extremely picky eater and probably offend many people who have us over for dinner when i don't eat any of the salad, vegetables, or seafood.
22. i dislike coffee as well. come to think of it, i don't think i've ever tried it and have no desire to.
23. i judge smokers, especially those with children. sometimes i want to yell at mothers who are smoking or say a snide remark, and one day if i'm in a really bad mood i might get nasty.
24. today i saw a 25ish year old guy smoking outside my doctor's office and thought to myself "is he seriously smoking outside a doctor's office?" then he came inside and told me congratulations on the baby and made me feel really guilty for judging him.
25. i hope this is my year to be more compassionate. maybe the baby will soften my heart.