i love monday nights

three posts in one week, new record! i really wanted to go buffalo wild wings tonight to watch the packers' game and eat some delicious parmesan garlic wings, but seeing that my husband is out of town, i am resigned to sitting at home eating frozen lasagna and blogging. i thought about calling some girl friends to see if anyone wanted to join me at bdubs, but then decided to spare the rejection by admitting to myself that none of my girlfriends enjoy watching football. thought about calling my girlfriends to see if they wanted to do something else, but realized that i would rather watch football by myself than socialize and miss the game. it crossed my mind to call some of james' friends to see if anyone wanted to go out, but thought that might be a little weird. finally contemplated getting wings to go, but realized that if i drove all the way there i would want to stay and watch the game on the big screen and i would be all by myself, so here i am.

on saturday night i went to one of my favorite weddings of all time--jenny and jesse loyd's. my favorite part was the incredible potato bar. wish i would've taken pictures, but in the center of the ballroom guests were invited to grab a martini glass from the huge glass tower and fill it with mashed potatoes and toppings of their desire. i loaded mine with cheese, bacon, chives, and sour cream--so delicious and such a cute idea! the dinner and dancing were fabulous as well, and it was fun to see a lot of camp friends who i haven't seen in a while. oh and they had two photobooths, which i did with brittney and my mom since james is in wisconsin. i'm sure their wedding was pretty expensive, but i thought it was a nice treat for all of the guests. sometimes i get so frustrated with people when they brag about how cheap their weddings/receptions are. i'm all about being frugal, but having a nice reception is more of a gift to guests than anything else.

speaking of gifts, i've developed a new subconscious system for determining how nice of a gift to give another couple tying the knot. the following factors all play a role:
1. how close of friends/family they are
2. what they gave us for our wedding
3. how nice of a wedding/reception they are having
4. how many times they've rudely mentioned gifts and where they are registered

#4 kills me. i went to a wedding where the couple mentioned where they were registered at least 3 times and how much they were looking forward to getting all of the wedding gifts. it frustrated me so much that i almost did not get them a gift, especially since they had a very low-budget reception and did not give us a gift for our wedding. however, my conscience got to me and i made a pact to myself that even if i feel like a couple's behavior does not merit a gift, that is not what the spirit of giving is all about. i know there are other factors that play into weddings and often a couple does not have a large budget to work with, but if that is the case, then they should work extra hard to make the event entertaining for the guests or not expect as nice of a present. this might be the most twisted gift-giving philosophy ever, but it works for me.

at our wedding, the gift-giving was similar to church tithing in that a small percentage of the people gave a majority of the gifts (actually not really a small percentage--probably 1/2-3/4 of the guests gave gifts, but it still surprises me how many people think their presence is enough of a gift). we are very thankful and were blessed beyond what we deserve, but it was humbling to look through my spreadsheet of thank yous and realize that many of the couples who gave us pricey wedding gifts also gave us generous shower presents and now are buying even more gifts for our baby. a special shoutout to some of my bridesmaids who not only bought gifts for the wedding and lingerie for the bridal shower, but also gave james and me a fabulous spa package. thank you erin, sarah and megan!!! i love you, and you will be rewarded when your weddings come in time :).

it's almost time for kickoff. happy thanksgiving to everyone if i do not talk to you before then!!!

sympathy

pregnancy heightens emotions. i bawled during juno last night even though it was the third time i've seen it, and today at church i started crying again when a lady shared how she's been struggling with infertility for 12 years, 12 YEARS! i've never been compassionate about infertility until i became pregnant--and now it breaks my heart. i just want to give my baby to the couples trying so hard to conceive. perhaps i am more conscious of infertility because i talk about babies and pregnancy much more than ever before, but wow--it is such a huge struggle. at dinner parties i try not to dominate the conversation with updates on our baby even though it is so natural to want to share, so to shift the attention away from myself i casually ask other couples when they want to conceive--big mistake! about half of the people i've asked are trying to have a child, some for many years. i just don't understand how it can be so easy for some and difficult for others.

today i was reminded of how thankful i am to be able to conceive. when james and i first found out we were expecting, i wish we could say we were blissfully elated, but instead we spent days in shock of the unbelievable reality of our new situation. it even crossed my mind that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if we had a miscarriage and i mentally prepared myself for the (higher than i knew) chance that it could happen. now i am so, so thankful that our baby is still growing and healthy. i don't think i could've mentally processed losing my child, especially if we wanted to wait years before trying again.

i believe God gives women 9 months of pregnancy not only for the baby to grow, but for the couple to mentally prepare. part of james and my sadness with getting pregnant so soon after marriage was that we wouldn't have time to grow together and enjoy just being a couple, but i've realized that we had 3 great years of dating with plenty of "us" time, and now we have 9 more months to live up every free night. although we have no idea how much work raising a child will be, i feel like it will strengthen and deepen our relationship that much more. i know it will be stressful, more stressful than i can ever imagine, but we are ready.

21 weeks

143 lbs.

getting the flu last week kinked my steady weight gain. i've also started working out at the RAC 3-4 days/week, so that might be part of it.

i feel so behind in life right now. even though most of the items on my to do list are menial, they still hang over my head. every time i catch up on facebook messages new ones arrive, not to mention blog replies that i've wanted to write for a week. oh and wedding thank you cards--ashamedly i still have about 20 more to finish. right when i catch up with those i will have to start baby thank you notes for all of the gifts from the in-laws' shower over christmas break, which reminds me that i desperately need to make baby registries before they ask again. oh and i really would like to write the first annual kehrli christmas letter from james, me, and baby-to-be, and i need to make shutterfly wedding photo albums for Christmas presents for my mom and MIL, on top of all of the other presents i need to buy. when did i get so behind?

james and i packed boxes for 4 hours last night. we separated everything into master bedroom, baby bedroom, guest bedroom, kitchen, etc., so hopefully moving will go smoothly. organizing our stuff was pretty cathartic, actually. i think i am going to get a maid at our new house. james is against it, but neither of us enjoy cleaning, and we have the money to pay for someone to come every other week, so i feel like it is a good investment. as i get more and more pregnant, i have even less of a desire to clean our home. i was not meant to be a stay at home wife/mom, and it would eliminate so much stress to have help.

speaking of stress, james and i check our stock portfolio online every day. if it is a good day, i make sure to tell him to look at it, and if the bears dominate, i keep quiet and hope he'll forget about looking. analysts say not to look at your portfolio during this low economic time, but we're still considering selling one of the stocks for the down payment on our house, so i keep looking. i should just stop--it does no good. we have money in savings, but i am sick of having stock and worrying what it will look like next week.

even though i started this blog about pregnancy, i rarely think about it right now other than daily prayers for our young one. during the first trimester, i read magazine after magazine about pregnancy and babies, but right now it feels healthy to take a short hiatus from the madness. i'm still upset at our ultrasound tech for only letting us take one picture on our digital camera last week and how terrible it is. i guess i shouldn't say any picture of our baby is awful, but the tech would not even wait for our baby to move his hands or the umbilical cord so we could see it's face :(. here is the disappointing pic:

i feel like this entry is really negative. things could be much worse, and my selfishness to have a cute ultrasound pic is greatly overshadowed by our healthy baby (10 inches, 12 ounces!) and healthy mom. i am actually really happy right now, and james and i are so so so excited to move and get settled into our new place. oh and i don't have the cystic fibrosis recessive gene!! (i opted for testing--it is a new test that is different from downs testing and only requires a sample of blood, but 1 in 29 caucasian americans has it, even with no family history) so none of our kids have any chance of the disease! if both james and i tested positive, we probably would not have any more kids of our own and would have adopted, so it is kind of a big deal.

i am excited for thankgiving! so many things to be thankful for: family, such great family, who have been so supportive throughout the pregnancy (thank you abbey and mom!), james, wonderful in-laws who spoil us, a healthy baby!!!, a fairly smooth pregnancy, time and energy to workout, many friends in the area, a delicious birthday dinner at p.f. changs, jobs my husband and i enjoy, etc. God is good.

i need to blog more so every entry does not feel like excessive, random word vommit. maybe when life slows down i will get in a better routine. love you all!!!

20 weeks

20 weeks--big ultrasound tomorrow!

143 lb.

ahhh what a day. i stayed up all night throwing up from 1-6am, blah. i tried to go into work this morning, but when i threw up at work my boss told me to go home and rest. after a big bottle of ginger ale and some saltine crackers, i am finally feeling a little better. the helplessness of throwing up everything, even water, reminded me of the last 3 days of ecuador. i have never been more miserable in my life. so much for morning sickness ending after the first 12 weeks.

last night was also the first night of our marriage that james slept on the couch :(. after 3 hours of me running to the bathroom every 15 minutes, he sweetly asked if he could go in the other room. as much as i selfishly wanted to say no, i wanted him to get a little sleep before work so i let him go. sad day.

tomorrow is our big ultrasound, though! i can feel the baby kicking more and more, so i know he is still alive. i say "he," but we're not finding out the sex. since the whole pregnancy has been a surprise, i decided to go all out and not plan anything. my mom already bought the baby over 200 outfits from garage sales that will work out whether its a boy or girl. i have no shame in dressing our kids in garage sale clothes. in a world full of debt and financial strain, james and i are trying to be as frugal as possible to eliminate unneeded stress. our goal is to have our house paid off in 10 years or less and have no more debt for the rest of our lives. that freedom is worth so much more to us than clothing our newborn in a designer wardrobe.

several casual coworkers asked me if my baby was with a boyfriend or husband or who. what an offensive question! i don't really care because i can always answer that yes, i am married. however, what if i wasn't? it would be stressful enough to be a single, unmarried mom without rude questions and judgement.

i am 25 years old, though! that is not an unusual age to have a first child. i just looked on http://www.census.gov/, and the average age of women when they give birth for the first time is 25.2 yrs (in 2006). i will be older than that when i have our child! pshhh.

time for some pictures. my belly ballooned out these last two weeks!!! as a comparison, here are photos from weeks 18 and 19 respectively:

loves!!

19 weeks!!

141 lbs, woah

feeling better than ever!

ahhh obama won. what a nice relief. i think it just hit me last night that we elected a black president! so exciting.

it's been an eventful week for james and me. after sitting, waiting, wishing for over a week that our offer would get accepted, we officially signed our contract! the home became a foreclosure two weeks ago so we got a great deal on it. i haven't taken any pictures yet, but i found this one on the benton county accessor's website. did you know you can look up any property in most counties across the nation and see who owns it along with a picture and its appraised value? my mom actually found the website for arkansas and saw this picture of our house:



we absolutely love it. after looking for so long for a home and realizing we were pregnant the day before we were going to sign another contract in august, we know God used all of that to bring us to this house with complete peace and confidence. now we can set up the baby's room and get everything organized before april 1st!

the neighborhood is wonderful and safe--there are a ton of other moms and even a home daycare down the street, plus a community pool and playground. we haven't decided if both james and i will work after we have baby kehrli. more to come about that in a later entry.

time for bed. james is traveling this week so i am home alone. i absolutely HATE being home alone, like worse than anything else in the world. i would rather have morning sickness with someone in the house than be here by myself. oh well, someday i will grow up into a big, indepent girl. love you all.