thoughts on daycare

some of you asked about taking parker to daycare (was it hard? did it feel good to get out? etc). i'll do my best to respond.

mom did okay with parker's first day of daycare. i didn't cry and wasn't super emotional about leaving parker. i researched and explored many child care options, so i knew parker would be in great hands throughout the day (thanks amy--i ended up picking one your friend recommended!). that is not to say it was an easy day.

the hardest part for me was getting myself ready, getting parker ready, pumping, and packing all of his necessities for the day (bottles, diapers, wipes, clothes, pump bag, computer, lunch, etc.) by 8 freaking am. this absolutely sucks. i know many mom's do it every day (props to all of you), but after sleeping in, having no responsibility (except parker), not having to do my hair, makeup, shower, etc. and then having to do all of it and be at work by 8am is not fun. plus james is not always home in the mornings, so the first day i had to do everything by myself, blah. my vote in the great SAHM v. working mom is it is so much more difficult to be a working mom.

i've realized there are just not enough hours in the day to work and do everything i want to do. right now i'm getting up at 6am just to get everything ready and be at work at 8, then i try and work out after work from 5:30-7pmish and then when we get home it is almost time to put parker to bed. zero quality time with my son. that sucks. and little quality time with my husband sucks as well. let alone quality time with God, hanging out with friends, cleaning (ugh), cooking, etc.

someone asked if it felt good to get out and go to work. honestly, i surprised myself that i felt zero need to get out. because james and i are overly social, i was getting plenty of adult interaction and time outside of the house. reading and learning about children was feeding me intellectual stimulation, and i felt completely fulfilled as a SAHM. before parker was born i knew i would crave going back to work, but the total opposite is true.

kids are only this small once. so much of their development takes place in these formative years. i want parker to get as much one on one time as possible (the daycare ratio is 3:1, and i know he needs to learn to entertain himself, but i would love for james and me to spoil him with attention). there are so many things that i want to do with parker each day to help him develop. we are working on rolling over, holding his bottle, talking/babbling consonants, jumping (love the jumparoo!!), reading (ha but we do read lots of books), etc. i like to give him an infant massage every day, and I LOVE HIS LITTLE SMILES. i could stare at him all day every day. i want to do this. i want to help him grow to be a national merit scholar, college athlete loving, selfless man.

where maternity leave was a blissful utopia, working full-time...sucks. that's the only word i can think of to describe it. it's a bummer to miss out on parker's daily activities. maybe if the first 3 months of his life were not so wonderful, i would've appreciated the help of daycare. but parker, james and i had such an incredible time together. we went to the pool nearly every day. we walked neighborhood trails. we went to play groups. we hung out with friends nearly.every.single.day. and i loved every minute of it.

so how is it taking parker to daycare? i'm making the best of it. i spend my lunch hour with him every day (the daycare is 4 minutes from my work) and cherish evening and weekend times even more. i wouldn't be surprised if james and i make some changes soon, but we'll see.

in the mean time, please pray for us. life is good. God is good. we are thankful and content, but it is a hard transition time. we're learning and growing, but that doesn't make it any easier. love yall!