at our small Christian college, it was easy to get caught up in what people "did not do" or their past. i remember thinking how badly i wanted to marry a virgin. it was a huge plus to me that james never had sex with anyone, but looking back, the impact of that prerequisite was so small on our future. if i was not crazy about james and did not love who he was as a person, his positive past would only have been a temporary plus.
on top of people's track records, i watched many friends fall for the way guys treated them. the phrase "find a guy who pursues you" played like a broken record across campus. i cringe every time i hear about a guy pursuing a girl. while there is something to be said about a guy treating a girl with respect and working hard to make her feel like a lady, i am a much bigger believer in finding a guy who is your best friend rather than one who pursues you. the pursuing has to be a two way street. if it is only the guy pursuing, it is easy to get caught up in the way the he treats you instead of his character and to settle for someone who treats you well instead of someone you cannot wait to spend more time with.
if you think about why we love God, it is not because of the nice things he does for us or even because he pursues us (the devil pursues us, too), but it is solely because of who God is. yes, people's actions stem from character, but our love must be rooted in a deep passion for the other person. when i see lists of reasons why people love their spouse, i am always encouraged when the reasons read "he is..." instead of "he does..." so tonight, i give you ten reasons why i love my sweet husband:
1. he is an incredible father (staying home with an infant 5 days a week is not easy!)
their own personal happiness and not depend on others to affirm their worth).