Wednesday, July 8, 2009

thoughts on daycare

some of you asked about taking parker to daycare (was it hard? did it feel good to get out? etc). i'll do my best to respond.

mom did okay with parker's first day of daycare. i didn't cry and wasn't super emotional about leaving parker. i researched and explored many child care options, so i knew parker would be in great hands throughout the day (thanks amy--i ended up picking one your friend recommended!). that is not to say it was an easy day.

the hardest part for me was getting myself ready, getting parker ready, pumping, and packing all of his necessities for the day (bottles, diapers, wipes, clothes, pump bag, computer, lunch, etc.) by 8 freaking am. this absolutely sucks. i know many mom's do it every day (props to all of you), but after sleeping in, having no responsibility (except parker), not having to do my hair, makeup, shower, etc. and then having to do all of it and be at work by 8am is not fun. plus james is not always home in the mornings, so the first day i had to do everything by myself, blah. my vote in the great SAHM v. working mom is it is so much more difficult to be a working mom.

i've realized there are just not enough hours in the day to work and do everything i want to do. right now i'm getting up at 6am just to get everything ready and be at work at 8, then i try and work out after work from 5:30-7pmish and then when we get home it is almost time to put parker to bed. zero quality time with my son. that sucks. and little quality time with my husband sucks as well. let alone quality time with God, hanging out with friends, cleaning (ugh), cooking, etc.

someone asked if it felt good to get out and go to work. honestly, i surprised myself that i felt zero need to get out. because james and i are overly social, i was getting plenty of adult interaction and time outside of the house. reading and learning about children was feeding me intellectual stimulation, and i felt completely fulfilled as a SAHM. before parker was born i knew i would crave going back to work, but the total opposite is true.

kids are only this small once. so much of their development takes place in these formative years. i want parker to get as much one on one time as possible (the daycare ratio is 3:1, and i know he needs to learn to entertain himself, but i would love for james and me to spoil him with attention). there are so many things that i want to do with parker each day to help him develop. we are working on rolling over, holding his bottle, talking/babbling consonants, jumping (love the jumparoo!!), reading (ha but we do read lots of books), etc. i like to give him an infant massage every day, and I LOVE HIS LITTLE SMILES. i could stare at him all day every day. i want to do this. i want to help him grow to be a national merit scholar, college athlete loving, selfless man.

where maternity leave was a blissful utopia, working that's the only word i can think of to describe it. it's a bummer to miss out on parker's daily activities. maybe if the first 3 months of his life were not so wonderful, i would've appreciated the help of daycare. but parker, james and i had such an incredible time together. we went to the pool nearly every day. we walked neighborhood trails. we went to play groups. we hung out with friends and i loved every minute of it.

so how is it taking parker to daycare? i'm making the best of it. i spend my lunch hour with him every day (the daycare is 4 minutes from my work) and cherish evening and weekend times even more. i wouldn't be surprised if james and i make some changes soon, but we'll see.

in the mean time, please pray for us. life is good. God is good. we are thankful and content, but it is a hard transition time. we're learning and growing, but that doesn't make it any easier. love yall!


Q, La, and Gooner said...

Oh wow, thanks for being so transparent! I don't think any of us realized how deeply we would feel for our babies. I am still on maternity leave, but I will not be going back. This time is just too special. I pray you are able to make changes as well...

Sadie said...

Wow. I have a hard time getting Norah and myself out the door in time to make the 10:45 church service. I can't imagine getting ready to leave before 8 every single day.
We'll be praying for you Silvy. :)

Liz said...

Good luck Silvy! I will keep you and James in my prayers as you decide what is best for your little family and how to make it all happen. Blessings on you three.

Peter and Amy said...

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like it's been a tough time for you and your family. I'm trying not to think too much about going back to work in September and just focus on the time I do have with our little Bella.

wendy said...

i understand COMPLETELY. i've been back at work since jonas was 5 weeks old, and it still kills me every single day. i'm lucky that i usually have thursdays off, so i only go a few days without seeing him all day before i get a jonas re-charge.

we've been able to keep jonas with family member each day, so that really helps as well. and i may or may not call, text, or email every few hours to see how he is doing.

it's so hard to get all of the baby gear that they NEED together, let alone do what you need, too. i work in fayetteville, so i have to be out of the door by 7:15 to make it on time...and that's pushing it. doing make-up while driving (hey, it's only some blush and mascara) is now routine.

you're doing great! :)

kristina said...

good thoughts silvy. i cant imagine how hard it must be to leave your little guy. we will be praying for you, james and parker as you decide what is best for you guys and make this transition.

in the meantime, all the best! you have handled everything else so brilliantly, i am sure you will take this in your stride as well :)

Jenny Clements said...

It's good to hear your thoughts on daycare. Paul and I will be putting our baby in daycare at three months, too, and I'm absolutely TORN up about it! I've always wanted to be a SAHM, but our situation doesn't allow for that right now... So at least I can prepare myself for the moments I will miss of growing and learning new things :/ We are looking into finding someone from our church that would be willing to take baby c four days during the week... maybe an older mom who wouldn't mind having a baby around again...

Nicole said...

I know that you and James with the help from God will make the right decision where it comes to Parker. You are both wonderful parents. I can't imagine it being easy to make this type of decision. I think Lucas and I always knew that I would stay home as soon as we started having children and I can't imagine it differently but I also wouldn't even bring in much of an income if I did work since I never completed college. I think it is great you have maintained your social lifestyle it is far to easy to have a baby and just shut yourself up not getting out and in the process lose friends but you have managed not to do this. I think no matter what you decide to do you have a loving husband and a son who also loves you no matter what. Babies are wonderful beings who do not judge but only love.