Thursday, April 2, 2009

looking up

it's almost surreal that in less than a week we WILL have a baby. i am finished with fruitless efforts to induce labor and feel like a frustrated woman struggling with infertility. however, having a baby at this point is completely inevitable (and both james and i were delivered 2 weeks late so it's really not that crazy that i am overdue). it still blows my mind that we will have a child in our hands so soon.

the other day while reading, "pregnancy," i warned james that the first couple weeks after baby kehrli is born are going to be extremely difficult. i apologized to him in advance for likely being overly emotionally and bitchy as we try to adjust to having a baby. i told him about everything in the magazine articles and in stories from friends describing how hard the first few weeks can be. expecting a thank you for the heads up, james looked at me and said, "it doesn't HAVE to be like that. i know it will be difficult, but if we go into it with a pessimistic attitude that it's going to be hell there is no doubt that it will be."

and he was so right. while i don't want the pressure of being super mom who doesn't cry or get moody, i need to go into labor and the first few weeks of our child's life with a positive attitude that this is one of the most incredible times of our life. i need to focus on all of the blessings in this event including having an incredibly supportive husband who has volunteered to change every dirty diaper as long as he's home and i'm breastfeeding.

speaking of breastfeeding, many moms have warned that this is the hardest part of being a new parent. although i do not want to be naively optimistic about how easy breastfeeding will be, i can't go into it expecting to suffer through it. breastfeeding, much like pregnancy and labor, is a natural thing (or so i hope). i must be positive about it.

there are many difficult things in life: death, divorce, unfaithfulness, unemployment, etc. however, there are many things in life i've been told are going to be difficult that have turned out much easier than expected. in high school the teachers tried to scare us into believing that college was so, so hard--not true. senior year of college, friends warned me that graduate school was a monstrously hard step up from college--not true again. even marriage (from my limited 11 month experience) has been much easier than anticipated.

as part of our premarital counseling, james and i took separate 2 hours tests to see how well we were prepared to be together. our counselor told us that our marital expectation answers matched so closely that he was afraid that we were not honest on the survey. but we were. sure we have times when we fight and have problems, but marriage is not nearly as difficult as friends and our marital counselor scared us into thinking it would be. really it is quite simple.

i'm hoping that taking care of a baby will be the same way. my husband reminded me this week that attitude is imperative to success. we must focus on the joy of new life instead of the struggles of parenthood. sure there are going to be times when we can't get the baby to stop crying and we feel helpless and exhausted, but we must remain positive. millions of people have raised children without any of the blessings we enjoy, so we have no reason to complain. abraham lincoln once said, "you are as happy as you make yourself up to be," and this is our motto diving into unknown territory of the next few weeks.

love :).


Amy said...

Honestly, and maybe this was because I didn't have any expectations since I didn't/don't know much about kids, but ... I thought our first two weeks were some of the easiest. It was so simple: He slept all the time, we held him all the time, I fed him every 3 hours, and didn't get a whole lot of sleep. :) And it's all so new, that I don't think the lack of sleep is much of an issue. Breastfeeding went pretty well for us, but I know some who had a really hard time.

Of course, there have definitely been hard moments -- but overall, I'd say it hasn't been too bad. You just deal with the stresses of a baby just as you'd deal with the stresses of any other important responsibility.

We'll be praying for you two! You already have the most important ingredient: a loving, supportive and positive husband. That goes a very, very long way.

Ha, I think my "Owen voice" by default is higher pitched than it is when I'm talking to non-Owen people. I guess I can blame the maternal instinct.

sorry this is so long.

Kim said...

Silvy, you are going to be an incredible mom. I have no doubts about that. Incredible moms don't have to be perfect, which I feel like is a common perception. Can't wait to see you love on that baby!

wendy said...

i saw the good news on facebook--congrats!

Kim said...

You ARE an incredible mom now. Or will be very soon!