28 weeks

this picture was actually taken at 27 weeks, but you get the idea.


the morning after i wrote my last post about being a good friend in 2009, i got a couple borderline rude emails from a good friend. i drove to work annoyed at this friend and thought about blogging about it all day. part of me still wants to because i'm pretty sure said friend does not read my blog, but i know that is not the best way to deal with the situation. while it might be temporarily cathartic to complain about my friend's actions, i realize that a public internet journal is never the best place to discuss relational issues. i called my sister to vent instead, and she offered the perfect mix of understanding that this friend's actions were wrong while reminding me that this friend has done a lot for me over the years and life is not about keeping score.

it is a hard lesson to learn that life is not about keeping score and something i'm sure i'll never perfect. to an extent i think it is easier to do in marriage because you're committed to unconditionally loving that person forever, so you consciously remind yourself to forgive and forget. it's harder in friendships, though, because there is no guarantee that any specific friend will be a big part of your life forever.

james and i are in a stage of life where we're figuring out who our lifelong friends are and who we want to make a concentrated effort to stay close with. i always struggle with when to stop trying with friends, when too much is too much or we've grown apart. the hardest part is that often the friends who are the least enjoyable to be around are the ones who need friends the most.

anyway, we're going to denver to see jenna, sam, and levi at the end of this month and i am so excited! they are friends who i know james and i will stay in contact with for a long time because we all get along so well and want to make an effort to see each other at least once a year for a vacation. i guess i don't know if their relationships with us will change, but i'm pretty sure we will all stay close. it's kinda funny because 4 years ago, levi was v. anti-girl and never invited jenna and me to any outings, but over the years he and i have become really good friends. our last year at jbu when i lived in siloam and james lived in rogers, levi called every week to invite me to poker and came to my house whenever we needed a boy to help with projects, which i greatly appreciated. it will be good to have all of us together, even if just for a weekend.

james called last night (happy surprise!) and told me that their group is leaving friday morning at 6am from mexico and driving straight through, so i will get to talk to him again in 36 hours and see him in 54! can't wait until then. loves!